One year ago today

One year ago today, I received the worst call of my life – my dad went into cardiac arrest and passed away several minutes later. I knew my dad had been very sick for the last 2 years but the news that I lost him was still a total shock and was undoubtedly the darkest day of my life.  I remember sitting on the floor of my living room crying my eyes out.  I remember crying as soon as I got into bed for several nights after he passed away. I lost my biggest supporter, the person that loved me totally unconditionally all of my life.  People say it gets easier, and it does, but the pain never goes away. There will forever be a void in my heart.  A year later, it still hurts, but I am also much more thankful now. Thankful that I spent the day with my dad the day before he passed away .. Thankful that I was able to tell him I loved him one last time. Thankful that I now have 32 years worth of memories of my time spent with him. Thankful that I can still remember the sound of his voice clear as day in my head.  Thankful that I have a voicemail saved from him of him telling me that he loved me.

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I miss my dad every single day. I miss being able to call him, watch TV with him, tell him about things going on in my life, hearing his voice, his cooking, him calling me just to ask what was new and how I was (even though he was the one with so many health problems).

This is a video that I made in memory of my dad:

http://www.smilebox.com/playBlog/4d7a6b314e7a67344f44673d0d0a&blogview=true

There is no one else in the world that I would have rather had as my dad. I love you, Daddy and will for the rest of my life.  XOXO

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12 thoughts on “One year ago today

  1. That smilbox video brought me to tears… so touching and you are so brave to share this. I am thinking of you and although the pain is still around… so are so many wonderful memories and happy moments xoxo

  2. Your video tribute is lovely – your Dad looked like such a happy man! And the photos from your wedding are just beautiful!

    I can sympathise with you as I feel the same about losing my grandad. It’s the hardest thing in the world but it is true, whilst it does get a bit easier with time, time will never fill that void. He will forever be in your heart and memories. X

  3. What a lovely tribute to your best friend, biggest supporter – your dad! It breaks my heart knowing he’s no longer here w/ us (in person), but please know he’s now become your guardian angel. He’ll always be here with you – whether you can see him or not. Just like you still need him, he still needs you. He needs to see you happy, in love, blessed & successful. ❤ Keep your head up & always smile – even if it's just for him.

  4. That is such a great idea!! What a beautiful way to remember you dad 🙂 I will keep you and your family in my prayers! Even though he isn’t with you know, his spirit is everywhere. He looked like a very happy person which is such a blessing!
    I admire you for being brave enough to post about your father when he passed not too long ago! Truly inspiring!

    Have the best day that you can possibly have 🙂

  5. So sorry to hear you’ve lost your dad! I had to say goodbye to mine almost 5 years ago. It’s tough but we are blessed to have as many memories as we do 🙂 xo

  6. This is so sweet, and of course I’m sitting here in tears. What a beautiful post in memory of your sweet dad. ❤ Lots of hugs and love to you, girl.

    xo

  7. Pingback: Tuesday Truths | Life as Lisa Knows It

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