Two years ago today, I lost my biggest supporter

Two years ago today, I received the worst call of my life – my dad went into cardiac arrest and passed away several minutes later. I knew my dad had been very sick for the last 2 years but the news that I lost him was still a total shock and was undoubtedly the darkest day of my life.  I remember sitting on the floor of my living room crying my eyes out.  I remember crying as soon as I got into bed for several nights after he passed away. I lost my biggest supporter, the person that loved me totally unconditionally all of my life.  People say it gets easier, and it does, but the pain never goes away. There will forever be a void in my heart.  Two years later, it still hurts, but I am also much more thankful now. Thankful that I saw my dad and talked to him the day before he passed away. Thankful that I was able to tell him I loved him one last time. Thankful that I now have 33 years worth of memories of my time spent with him. Thankful that I can still remember the sound of his voice clear as day in my head.  Thankful that I have a voicemail saved from him of him telling me that he loved me, as does my sister.

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There is no question that I miss my dad and think about him every single day. I miss being able to call him, watch TV with him, tell him about things going on in my life, hearing his voice, his cooking, him calling me just to ask what was new and how I was (even though he was the one that was so sick).

There is honestly no one else in the world that I would have rather had as my dad.

I love you, Daddy and will for the rest of my life.  XOXO

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This is a video that I made in memory of my dad shortly after he passed away:

Dad

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20 thoughts on “Two years ago today, I lost my biggest supporter

  1. I remember watching this video last year and it’s still true, it’s really is a beautiful tribute. I can’t believe it’s been two years. He’s watching over you still! 🙂

  2. Read this at work and really felt for you. I lost my Dad when I was three and really felt the loss through my teenage years. My Dad died aged 30 of a sudden heart attack too leaving behind my Mum who was six months pregnant with my sister at the time and myself. You’re right it’s always hard. Sometimes my friends ask me what it’s like to lose a parent and I find it hard to explain. My Mum’s taught us to love life and I’m hugely grateful to have such a wonderful supermum. Your Dad is definitely watching over you. Very moving post xx

  3. Oh, I am so very sorry for your loss. He sounds like such a special person, and I know his memory lives on in you. Sending lots of good thoughts and prayers your way!

  4. What a sweet tribute to your Father. I’m sorry for your loss. I have lost my Father too and I wish I could say that the pain goes away but for me it lessens some but never goes away.

  5. This really brought a tear to my eye. I am so very sorry for your loss. I too have lost people close to me – my mum and aunt. Time does heal and you will think less of the sad times and forever cheirsh the wonderful memories you had together

  6. I am so sorry for your loss 😦 He sounds like he was a great man, I never had a good relationship with my dad but I know I would be at an utter loss if I loss my mom. Take care xoxo Janet

  7. I’m so sorry for your loss 😦
    Having almost lost my mom to cancer a few years ago, I can – in some way – understand?
    I know the pain will never fully go away, but I hope that it continues to get easier for you, and I’m glad you still have that voicemail 🙂 xx

  8. This was so sweet. I’m so sorry for your loss there is a beautiful poem that I love:
    The tide recedes but leaves behind
    bright seashells on the sand.
    The sun goes down, but gentle
    warmth still lingers on the land.
    The music stops, and yet it echoes
    on in sweet refrains…..
    For every joy that passes,
    something beautiful remains.
    Keep your head up gorgeous, you have many supporters here! ❤

  9. I respect the love u had for him . yes the loss is irrevocable but u can still feel his presence . and he is there evn now to support u .thru his principles he left behind .
    Stay strong

  10. Lisa, I’m sending you a HUGE mental hug right now! What a beautiful tribute to your dad. It’s clear that you and your sweet dad loved each other very, very much. My mom lost her dad, also to cardiac arrest, when she was 31. She said he was the person who understood her most in the world, and he was her biggest champion — so her situation reminds me a lot of your own. The thing she has said to people in similar situations is that while you never stop missing them, the pain becomes less acute. You never go back to the normal life you had before, but you do develop a new normal, and you eventually reach a point where you’re grateful for the memories you have. I’m also a firm believer that love lives on long after someone’s passing, and it’s clear that this is the case with you and your dad. You’re doing a beautiful job of keeping his memory alive! ❤

    • Thank you so much for your sweet comment!! XOXO

      I 100% agree with your mom’s thoughts – I know the pain from the loss of my dad will definitely never go away but the pain does lessen over time. I just sometimes need to remind myself to be thankful for all the time I had with him and not think of the things that I will not get to experience with him going forward.

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