Mother, this is the last thing in the world I want to be doing on my Friday night. I had a very long week. Do you have any idea how stressful it is to take approximately 20 naps a day, have to go outside in the cold to pee and poop, bark at squirrels, snack on various treats throughout the day, and provide security to the household every day?! Oh, and don’t even get me started on how long I have to wait for you 2 humans to prepare every meal for me!!!

Sincerely,

Bosco